My Cup Runneth Over - Counting the Blessings of Vivie

I cannot believe Vivie's first Thanksgiving has come and gone! I always feel like Thanksgiving gets the short end of the stick with Christmas being close behind, but I always attempt to try and think about what it means to be thankful. This year especially, I feel as though I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the small joys in life, along with the more significant blessings. For the last 9 months, Vivie seems to offer a new blessing every day through her laughter, her smiles, her cuddles, and her babbling.

We had a great day together as a family, even though Vivie started our Thanksgiving lunch by throwing up all over the floor! The day was spent with family surrounded by the blessings of yummy food and sweet babies. Vivie went to bed at 6:30 because she was so exhausted! Although the day was fun, I wanted Vivie to read this one day and know exactly what I was feeling on this special day.

Vivie, if you are reading this one day, I decided to commemorate your first Thanksgiving by compiling a list of why I am thankful this year, and as you can imagine you are at the top of that list!

I am so thankful for you. Words will never be able to convey how miraculous I think you are. I know that there are healthy babies born each day, but I never want to take you and your health for granted. When I think about all of the heartache in the world that is caused by illness and suffering, just the fact that you arrived with no complications and that you wake up each day smiling and healthy is enough to keep me counting blessings each day.

I am so thankful for your father. You have no idea yet what a perfect role model he is for you. His love, devotion, and support for both of us is something rare. He never complains, and works harder than anyone I know to give us both a wonderful life. He is exactly the kind of man you should marry one day, and his values, morals, and love should mirror everything you want in a husband.

I am so thankful for our families and our friends. You are loved by so many people, and one day I hope you begin to fathom how blessed that makes you. There are people that will love you, support you, cry with you, laugh with you, and never turn their backs on you. There are people that would lay down their life for you. Take comfort in knowing that you will never be alone.

I so thankful for our home. Your father and I have spent hours filling our house with love, laughter, friends, warmth, and peace. It is my favorite place to be, and I hope that it will be your favorite place to be one day too.

I am so thankful for the food on our table and for my job. As hard as it to leave you every day, I still feel lucky to love my students, my colleagues, and my subject. I am thankful that most days I feel needed and respected, and that maybe at least one student will remember me in ten years. I hope that you will find something you are passionate about and dedicate yourself to it with all of your creative energy. It is a great feeling.

As we all reflect at this special time of year, Vivie my hope for you is that you will always be grateful and not take things for granted. It is so easy to do, but just stop and think about the magnitude of all you have to be happy about. Even things that we enjoy each day like coffee, heated seats, air conditioning, books, technology, rain, the sunshine, hiking trails, etc.; they all matter. I could go on and on about this for days, but I want you to always take comfort in the idea that you always have something to be thankful for, and that matters. And what matters most, and what I have been hoping to convey in this blog, in how thankful I am for you, and how deep my love is for you.

It's Fall Ya'll!

I love the fall. I love the first few crisp days, wearing boots and sweaters, football, bonfires, and fall food. I especially love the fact that the holidays are right around the corner, and with the exception of summer, December is my favorite time of year. However, I know many people will be shocked to hear this, but Halloween is not really a day that I look forward to like some. Don't get me wrong, I love candy and cute costumes, but it always seems like a strange holiday to me. So when it came time to start thinking about Vivie and Halloween, I have to be honest that I was probably not the most eager mommy around.

When I was growing up, all of my costumes were hand sewn by my grandmother and were always adorable thanks to she and my mom. Those of you that know me, know that I am by no means anywhere close to being able to sew or even thread a needle. I thought for a while about what I wanted Vivie to be, but after seeing the cutest orange tutu at TJ Maxx, I decided that Vivie must wear it on Halloween. Where else will she be able to wear an orange tutu? My wonderful friend Kelly agreed to make her a pumpkin shirt to match, and after finding a precious hair bow, she was all set, until I started seeing other kids, especially on Facebook. My guilt that she was not wearing a "real" costume set in, and I debated on whether or not to be a last minute at mom at Party City searching through the leftovers. I made my peace with it and put her in the tutu and she looked great. It was funny to me though that  all of a sudden this was such a big deal in my world.

We decided not to take Vivie out on Halloween, but we visited a pumpkin patch the weekend before, and took her to our church for Trunk or Treat. She was not that impressed with the pumpkin patch, but was a big fan of Trunk or Treat. She loved strolling around and seeing all of the children and the amazing trunks. Her favorite part of the night was definitely the glow necklace, which she held on to very tightly until she went to bed. No candy this year, but she was all smiles throughout the night.

Like I mentioned earlier, Halloween is not my favorite holiday, but I know that experiencing it with Vivie throughout the years is going to create an entirely new meaning. I cannot believe she is approaching her first Thanksgiving or her first Christmas. Time is flying much too quickly as always. I know that I am going to blink and my little pumpkin princess is going to be running down a street knocking on doors with me trying to catch up.

Where is My Cape?

Dear Vivie,
I hope that one day you will read this and realize how much I love and treasure you. If you read this as a teenager, I hope you know that everything I do or say to you is because I love you. If you read this as an adult, and more importantly as a mom,  I hope you know that you can be anything you want to be. And today, I am struggling with attempting to be a good mother and a working mother, and has been one of the challenges of my life. This is something I really want you to know because if you are anything like me or your father, then you are going to strive every day to be perfect in all you do, and I am not sure if that is a blessing or a curse. If you are reading this one day and you could care less about striving to be perfect, then I will probably think they mixed up the babies in the hospital, because your parents are consumed with this at times. Like I mentioned before, this could be interpreted as a good thing or a bad thing.

I realized 2 weeks ago, that I cannot be a perfect teacher and a perfect mom. It was hard for me to digest, considering I feel like I can juggle anything. Before you were born, my teaching career was my top priority along with my marriage. Teaching is very important to me, and it is something that I try and give 110% for each day. I would spend hours grading essays, reading literary criticism, writing ideas, researching lesson plans, and activities. However, after you came along, that stuff did not seem like such a big deal. (I don't think my students have ever thought it was a big deal)

You caught your first stomach virus and your school called me while I was teaching my 1st block class. They told me you were throwing up, and they could not calm you down. Immediately, I wanted to run out the door and comfort you and tell you everything was going to be ok, but I had 28 kids working on American poetry project who all had a million questions. After finding teachers to take care of the rest of the day, I left school and my juniors, much to their delight I am sure. All I could think about as I was driving way too fast to pick you up, was I need a cape. I really wanted to be in 2 places at one time, and I realized that something eventually will always have to give. I am going to have to accept that I cannot be 100% teacher and 100% mommy. I know many people reading this may wonder why this is difficult for me, but I imagine that most of my working mommy friends know exactly how I feel. It is not easy for me to swallow the fact that I cannot be everything to everyone all at the same time like some kind of superwoman. But that does not mean that I won't try. When I arrived at home with you, I knew comforting you was the only thing I wanted to do at that moment, but this feeling of abandoning  my job was still in the back of my mind.

I am working on sorting out these feelings every day, and I know that it is going to be one of the great challenges of my life to accept that I don't wear a cape, nor does anyone but myself expect me to wear one. I hope that if you read this one day, it will give you a sense of pride and peace. No matter what direction your life goes in, I want you to know that I did my very best, and gave you 100% each day of your life. Even though you might not feel like I did, I hope you will understand that I tried as hard as I could. And if you decide to become a working mom, it is okay to feel envious of those moms that get to take their babies to the zoo, lunch, and the park. It is okay to feel guilty for leaving your job to take care of a sick baby. It is okay to struggle with all of these conflicting emotions about absolutely loving your career and your baby at the same time. I am writing as though I have made peace with all this, which is far from the truth. I have to lean on your father, our family, and all my friends for encouragement all the time, and that is okay too.

Even though we are not together every single day, you are always near me and never leave my thoughts.  Our time together is so precious, and I hope you know that I tried so hard to absorb every single second of your sweet, sweet spirit.

It's a Jungle Out There...Vivie at the Zoo

I can't speak for other moms, but one of the best parts of being a mama for me is getting to recreate childhood fun. I was so excited to take Vivie to the zoo for the first time! I knew she was probably not going to understand what was going on, but it was such a beautiful September day that we had to take advantage of it and create some kind of experience.

Before we decided to go the zoo, Shane had already ordered his most exciting baby item for Vivie. I get excited about hairbows and dresses, and Shane gets excited about outdoor gear. He ordered a backpack to carry Vivie in from REI, and was very anxious to use it. We had so much fun testing it out in our living room! We love going on hikes, so this was the perfect solution for Vivie growing out of the Baby Bjorn. Since it arrived the day before we wanted to go to the zoo, we decided that would be a perfect time to test it out.

What a beautiful day! Warm and sunny weather is my favorite, so we slathered some sunscreen on Vivie and headed to the zoo. She loved looking at the people, and I really think she enjoyed riding on Shane's back!
We saw the elephants, giraffes, and tigers, and I bored Shane and Vivie with wanting to go on a tour of the 19th century home located on the property.

She was so engaged in everything going on around her, but the time soon came for a nap, and she could not hold out any longer. She fell asleep riding in her backpack, and I am pretty sure it was one of the sweetest, most adorable moments of her short little life. She slept for about an hour, but then woke up smiling as usual. I thought she would love the petting zoo, but since they only had about 2 goats to 20 children, we were disappointed that she did not get to pet more animals.

We ended our zoo experience with some shopping in the gift shop so Vivie could have a souvenir of her first trip to the zoo. She chose a fuzzy giraffe and instantly put him in her mouth. I think the trip was a success, and I hope to spend a lot more time at the zoo in the future.

After we left, daddy and mama decided to treat themselves to some Sweet CeCe's! I am so looking forward to the day when she gets to experience the joy of simple things.

What a perfect day. Beautiful weather, yummy treats, laughs, simplicity, my amazing husband, and my precious, precious, sweet girl. These moments are so special to me, and the warmth and sunshine from these days envelop my life each day. How lucky our little family is.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....

Dear Vivie,
It seems as though I could gush and gush about how much I love you all day, every day. There are so many things that I adore about you at 7 months old...

I love your laugh. It is the most joyful and pure sound in the world, and I could listen to it for an eternity.

I love your cheeks and how smooth and sweet they are. Kissing them is the best.

I love watching you wake up in the morning and bury your sweet little face because it is way too early, but you greet me with a smile anyway.

I love watching you sleep and see the essence of peace.

I love how I can always make you smile. Even when you are so sleepy that all you feel like doing is crying, I can still manage to get a smile. I know that won't last forever, but I am taking advantage of it every moment that I can.

I love your sweet little coos and squeals. Even though you are not talking yet, I still feel like we have our own language of love.

I love how when I open up the car door in the back seat, you are always there with a big grin and an arched back because you are so excited that we have arrived somewhere.

I love how intently you stare at Stella trying to figure her out. It's as if you are asking yourself: why is she white? What's up with her tail? Why does she bark so much? Can I grab her?

I love watching your excitement over a bowl of cereal. You are not too excited about those peas, but you  love that cereal! When I was pregnant all I ate was cereal, so that my be mommy's fault!

I love watching you splash around in the bath, and that heavenly smell of your freshly washed hair and skin. Lots of kisses always follow bath time!

I love watching you play with your toys and the discoveries you make each day. 

I love how you are always happy and excited. You are always having so much fun and you smile constantly. I hope that you always enjoy each day. 

I could go on and on. I adore everything about you because you are my precious, precious gift from God. I cannot believe the depths of my love for you and the hopes and dreams that I have for you. I will continue to count the ways of how I love you. For now....there are about 100 million ways on that list. 

Seriously, don't blink. It has been six months!

This is coming a little late. If you have been in the Burton household lately, it is a mixture of making bottles, laundry, 11th grade essays, fundraising for school, cooking dinner, giggles, barks from Stella, and Kenny Chesney music blaring in the background. That's just a typical Thursday night! Needless to say it has been a while since I have been able to post anything about my sweet baby.
Vivie made it to the six month mark in early August, and I have been thinking for a while about how to blog about her being half a year already! Then of course, inspiration come knocking from none other than my friend Sarah's blog. Her sweet girl Olivia, yes we have Livy and Vivie in the family, turned 2 last week and we had so much fun celebrating with a tea party! After reading her blog about Livy turning 2, I thought it would be a good idea to document who Vivie is right now.

Right now, as I am typing this Vivie is growling at me. Yes, I typed growling! That is her new favorite sound to make along with blowing raspberries, and dove-like cooing sounds. She loves to squeal and laugh, much to my delight. I am not sure if I have ever seen a baby smile like my sweet Vivie. She smiles from morning to night, even when I wake her at 6 in the morning or from a long nap to go to Target.

Vivie laughs at everything. I wish I could take credit and say she only laughs at her mommy, but she laughs at strangers in Publix, her friends at school, Stella, the blue sky, I could go on and on. I pray and pray that she will hold on to her joyful spirit. She is so carefree right now, and full of sunshine.
Vivie loves grabbing things now. Especially Stella's hair and mommy's jewelry. She can now hold her sippy cup and put her pacifier back in her mouth. She is just now starting to look at books, and mommy LOVES this! She loves stuffed animals and her glowworm.


She is looking at books right now, and seems to love looking at the pictures. Of course for the English teacher inside of me this makes my heart sing, but I won't get my hopes up that she is a life-long lover of books like her mama. I love watching her flip the pages and look at the pictures.
Vivie loves animals! I cannot wait until it cools down and I can take her to the zoo. She is obsessed with watching Stella, and is equally intrigued by cats and birds. She loves looking at the bird feeder at her school, and gets so excited when she sees a puppy!

I made her mad for the first time last week. She wanted to hold a bag of chips at Publix and when I took them away, she gave me an awful look and started wailing. I have no doubt that will be the first of many, many, many times in which I will anger her by not giving her what she "thinks" she wants.

She loves when I sing to her and dance around like a crazy person. I am convinced she is going to love Kenny Chesney and country music as much as I do, because it has been putting a giant smile on her face since she was 3 months old. I love sitting her in the bumbo, cooking dinner, and singing to her. Those parts of the day are the best, and I treasure every second I can put her up on the counter and sing to her without her wishing I would just go away. There is nothing like that big smile and look of adoration from her.

Like I mentioned in a previous blog entry, it does not get much better than life with Vivie right now. Each day is a new adventure with her and watching her thrive. From sitting up to learning to crawl, to laughing hysterically, to growling at her mama, to melting her daddy's heart, there are no words that can capture who she is. What did I do to get so lucky to have her in my life? How did this happen to me? How did I go from wondering what it would be like to see her and love her, to experiencing this unbelievable six month old? I guess I won't try to question my blessing of Vivie, but just soak up all her love, cuteness, fun, and excitement. My ray of sunshine is beaming so brightly right now, and I am going to enjoy every second of it.

To Eat or Not Eat...That is the Question!

Since most of you that are reading this know that I am attempting to capture all the moments in Vivie's sweet little life, it should come as no surprise that I am blogging about her first adventure with a spoon! I must admit that I was hesitant about starting baby food, not because of the mess it would make or the dirty diapers that would result, but because it seems as though it is another step towards Vivie growing up. It is such a bittersweet feeling to watch her grow and develop. If it were up to me, she would stay 6 months old for 6 years! I know that I am going to probably say that about every age, but it does not get much better than life with Vivie right now. She's playing, cooing, laughing, sleeping all night, and I think all of it is simply amazing. 

But once again, life is calling and it is time for a new milestone. Vivie had her six month appointment last week, and she is in the 90th percentile for weight! We knew she was a chunker, but had no idea she was that big! Dr. Leeper was thrilled that she is growing so well, and I absolutely adore all those rolls on her legs and arms! The doctor gave me the green light to start feeding her with a spoon and introducing solid foods, so we jumped right in. Vivie started with cereal and she was immediately a fan of eating from a spoon. We sat her on the kitchen table, put on a bib, and she had a great time. Shane recorded the initial reaction because she looked at us like we were crazy people. I am sure that will not be the last time that happens, especially as I envision her teenage years. It was not nearly as messy as I expected, but I know those days will come later as I imagine her covered in spaghetti and ice cream. She ate quite a bit and then lost interest, but I will say that it seemed like a pretty successful first feeding. 

She is now gobbling up cereal every day, so we decided to move onto to sweet potatoes. I wanted to start with green beans, but Shane thought that was a little mean! She did great with the sweet potatoes, but I think she likes the cereal better. It was so awesome to watch her experience a completely new sensation, and think about how many firsts are approaching. I kept thinking about feeding her other things, and I cannot wait until she gets to taste ice cream, or french fries, or my personal favorite, cake icing! However, we might wait on that one, maybe until her first birthday.  Watching her discover new things is one of the most awe inspiring experiences of my life.  I can't help but think about what it will be like to watch her unfold as a real person, and not just be my tiny, helpless baby. She has already taught me so much, and I can't wait to see what she teaches me next. Just watching her eat baby food seems like a major accomplishment in my own eyes, and experiencing life through her eyes has been the greatest joy of my life. 

D-Day

As most of you know, we survived the first day of the daycare experience. And when I say we, I mean me. I was a total wreck anticipating this milestone for Vivie, which most of you can account for as you listened to me cry! But back to school time came, and it was time for mommy to stop the tears and be a big girl. Vivie certainly was one!
I think the fear and anticipation of the actual event was much worse than the actual first day. For the last two weeks all I have been able to think about is leaving her. I was doing alright the morning of the first day considering I woke up at 4 a.m. thinking of the crazy amount of work I had to do to get ready for my students. My unstable emotions were fairly steady until I went into her room and saw that sweet smile. Here come the tears!

I managed to drive to her school and when we arrived she was in awe of all the new things to discover. I'm pretty sure she forgot who I was and was only interested in this toy that was suspended from the ceiling. Since we don't have a giant playroom full of new toys at our house, she did not care about anything but the toys and the boys. Yes the boys. 

Vivie made a new friend named Xavier, and they locked eyes immediately. Maybe she is in love - he was pretty cute! Of course I was acting like a crazy person crying, but after many hugs from her sweet teachers I was able to leave. I had no idea how hard that would be, but once I got to school and saw my wonderful friends, I was feeling ok.

The teachers told me I could call as much as I wanted, but not wanting to be that crazy mommy that even I still deal with and I teach 17 year olds, I only called to check in once. Of course she was charming everyone with her sweet smile and laid back personality. 

Once I arrived to pick her up, I felt the first of I'm sure many stings of motherhood. Vivie completely ignored my voice and would not even offer up smile, but continued playing with her new boyfriend. And so it begins. 

All in all I would say that the first day of school was a success for both of us. Day two was so much easier, and I felt very peaceful leaving her to play, experience new things, and spread her sunshine as she always does to those around her. It felt really good to be back in my classroom reading and researching things like symbolic meanings in The Scarlet Letter and literary analysis. It was nice to use my brain again, even though I am still clearing out the cobwebs from the last six months. I hope this experience will make Vivie proud of her mommy, and help her understand that she can work and be a good mother. I hope she reads this one day and realizes she can do anything she wants and be anything she wants to be, but it takes a village to raise a child. Right now that village has been a pillar of strength for me, and as I reflect on what I am sure one day will seem so minor in the grand scheme of life, I am so thankful that Vivie is surrounded by so many who love and adore her. Myself being number one on that list! :) 

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

So we are now almost 1 week away from the day I have been anxious about since I brought Vivie home from the hospital; August 3rd is her first day of daycare. What a fun summer we have had, with 2 vacations, having lunch with our friends, going to the pool, and just hanging out at home together. I have been so fortunate to have six months with my precious girl, but duty calls and it is time to head back to the Beech. I have missed my teacher friends, discussing literature and writing, and my classroom, but it is going to be so hard to leave Vivie.

I am having mixed emotions surrounding the return to school. I know it will be great to see everyone and get back into what I feel like I was called to do, but I had no idea how difficult it would be to get ready to leave her. I know so many working mothers experience this, but I guess before I had a baby I never really thought much about it. I thought I would be ready to return since I have always loved teaching my students, but the thought of being away from my baby all day five days a weeks is becoming rather hard for me to comprehend. I feel like she is seared into my heart, and when I leave her, half of me will be left behind as well. However, I am trying to remember the fact that at least I love my job, my colleagues, and my students, and I do get a lot of time off as a teacher.

My prayer for this last week of summer vacation is peace. Not only for me, but for all the students that will be returning to school, the teachers, administrators, and all those hard working moms that have to leave their sweet babies everyday.  I am going to miss those lazy mornings with Vivie, snuggling her and watching her play. I am going to miss rocking her before her naps, watching her sleep, and feeding her. I know she will be well taken care of and will probably learn so much more than I could ever teach her, but there are no words to describe how much I am going to miss having her by my side everyday.

But if you know me, I am not a pessimist, nor do I tend to stay down for very long and feel sorry for myself. So as I approach this major milestone I think I am going to try to channel some of Vivie's personality and try to smile, smile, smile through the day and know that I am fortunate in the fact that I will get to pick her up at 3:30 and squeeze her tighter than ever before. I am trying to think about those mommys that are serving in Iraq, or working two jobs to make ends meet, or traveling all the time. Why do I feel so sad when I get to do what I love and spend summers with her, and spring breaks, and Christmas breaks? Why do I feel sad knowing that she is going to be safe and learning all sorts of great things, and learning how to interact with others? Even though my soul feels like it is being split in two, I am going to try to focus on what's important. And for me that is knowing that God has blessed me with the ability to teach and the wonderful job of being a mommy, and I am going to try and do both the best I can. I know there are going to be lots of tears shed, as they are being shed as I write this, but I hope Vivie will one day be able to look at her mommy and be proud.

But for now, as I try not to be a hysterical crying mess on August 3rd, life is feeling a little bit hard and sad. I know if Vivie was able to be aware of what was going to happen next week I am sure she would be completely embarrassed by her crazy mommy. Hopefully she reads this one day and knows how my heart is aching and understands that it was because of the depths of my love for her and forgives me for all the times I am sure I will be embarrassing her through my emotional breakdowns. I guess we will cross that bridge later, for now I am just focusing on driving away for her daycare and not killing someone on Long Hollow Pike as I bawl my eyes out!

Name Change

So after much agonizing, I have decided to change the name of the blog. My perfectionist tendencies are overwhelming at times, and after spending what seemed like hours creating "The Color of My Life", a new title came to me, not from a literary giant such as Virginia Woolf, but from none other than the country music giant Kenny Chesney.
Those of you that know me well, know all about my affection for Kenny. Those of you that have been to a concert with me know how serious I am about my love for him. A few days ago I was doing one of my favorite things: cooking, listening to Kenny Chesney, and singing to Vivie while she was in sitting in her bumbo. His song Don't Blink started and I was thinking about all the things I have mused over in my blog recently. Suddenly that seemed like the perfect title for what I am attempting to capture through all of this emotional expression.

I asked Shane for his opinion and he thought it was a better title since it was a better definition of the whole purpose of the blog. I don't think Shane is a huge Virginia Woolf fan anyway, therefore he was not too attached to the original title. :)
So after thinking about it for a few days and spending way too much energy over something that is not really that big of a deal, I decided that I am going to change the title to Don't Blink. That mantra is one of my goals in life, especially now. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, after the birth of Vivie my perspective has shifted now to the little things and basking in her sunshine. So with that being said, each day is dedicated to watching her grow and flourish. I know it's going to be difficult not to get caught up in work, bills, exhaustion, etc. but I am going to try. I already feel like I blinked and she is now almost sitting up, getting ready for baby food, and holding her own bottle. Granted those first few months were filled with sleepless nights and a tired I had never experienced before. So for now my goal for each day is to just let my heart fill up with the joy of Shane and Vivie, and understand that this is an amazingly wonderful day, just because I have the two of them to share my life with.
I hope you will enjoy reading Don't Blink, and it will offer anyone who chooses to read it some inspiration to spread some love, happiness, excitement, laughter, and blessings.

Vivie in Florida Part 2

What a lucky baby Vivie is; she is not even six months old and she has already been to the beach twice! We are blessed with such a great family, who always likes to have fun!
This trip was planned by Shane's dad, Steve, and it was another major success for Vivie! However, things started off a little shaky as we left on Friday afternoon. Steve, Grace, Selah, Shane, and I decided to drive down to Montgomery, stay the night, and then finish the drive to Destin on Saturday morning. Vivie did great in the car, and around 11 p.m. we decided to stop outside Montgomery. Once we stopped, every single hotel at that exit was booked, but one of the desk clerks reassured us that there would definitely be hotels available about an hour away, so we decided to keep going. And going, and going, and going. Every single hotel room was booked even in Destin, so we resigned ourselves to the fact that we would have to sleep in our cars. Finally Steve found 2 rooms at a Motel 6, but they were smoking rooms. Yuck! The smell was awful, but we made it through for the 6 hours we were there. We were so ready to check into our condo!

Once we arrived at the condo on Saturday the trip was great. Sloan and Ginny came down with the girls, followed by Uncle LoLo. Vivie had such a great time being entertained by all her cousins, and mommy loved that Vivie spent her early mornings with Papa! Papa was so sweet to let mommy and daddy sleep in while he fed, changed, and played with Vivie.
Vivie loved the pool, and had a great time on the beach, except for when Shane sat down with her and the tide rolled in and a giant wave almost took her out! She was not a fan of that at all! Luckily Daddy held on to her really tight! She maintained her easy going personality and laughed and smiled the entire trip. All 3 of the big girls were swimming on their own by the end of the trip, which was very exciting! We had a yummy dinner at The Back Porch, and at my new favorite restaurant Dewey Destin. The seafood there is amazing, and the outdoor setting is perfect for Florida. We did get a few strange looks when we propped Vivie up on the pier by herself for a picture!

Most nights we stayed in and cooked and relaxed in our pajamas. It was so much fun to just hang out with the family and laugh and talk. It is so nice to slow down for a little bit and experience joy through the little things. I love it when we are in Destin and happiness equals someone going underwater for the first time, jumping off the side of the pool all by yourself, sitting on a swing talking, a hermit crab, rice krispy treats, a perfect hot and sunny day, sleeping in, outlet mall shopping, the perfect seafood dinner, I could go on and on.
We are looking forward to next year, when hopefully we can go to the beach again with the family. The memories that are being made with these 5 incredible little girls are priceless, and each summer brings new blessings and new experiences. How fortunate we are to all have each other, and the guarantee that no matter what happens in life there are always people who are going to offer love, laughter, and support. It's even better when that occurs near a beach! :)

Slow Down Vivie!

I am constantly amazed at how much time flies as I get older. I remember as a child waiting for something exciting like Christmas or my birthday, and it seemed like it took forever. Now I am lucky if I even have time to breathe before another significant event rolls around.
Vivie's milestones seem to be approaching one after another, and it seems as though before I can even write something down, she is achieving something else. I had no idea how excited I would get over her grabbing a toy or finding her feet. When excitement used to consist of a manicure, a new dress, and a night out with my friends, it now consists of a Saturday night on the couch while Shane and I watch Vivie just simply exist.

The mixture of emotions surrounding Vivie's milestones is still very confusing for me. As I grow excited to see what this little miracle can accomplish next, I feel this overwhelming sense of wanting to freeze her in time as a 6 month old baby. Yesterday as I was watching her on the monitor around 10 p.m., I saw her pick up her pacifier and try to put it back in her mouth. I watched her for a minute, and Shane said "mommy to the rescue." As I go into her nursery, I discover that she has the paci in her mouth and is back to sleep. To most this probably seems like a major victory, and there are thoughts of her growing more independent and not needing me to give her the pacifier 10 times a day. However, my feelings are rather bittersweet; it was the first time I felt like this was her first step to independence. Most people probably think that is a little silly, but for a mommy who likes feeling needed by her sweet little girl this is a big deal. Shane then laughingly tells me that she will still need me at 45, but as I watch her grow everyday, all I want to do is stop time for a little while. The sense of making of her so happy by just by helping her with her pacifier is very gratifying for me, and it is peaceful for me to know that her lost paci is her biggest problem right now.

Today Vivie is beginning to hold her bottle with both of her little hands, and can even manage to get it into her mouth. Once again, I had this overwhelming feeling of slow down! These feelings are probably connected to the fact that I am about to start back to work and for the first time in 6 months, and she will be away from me all day, 5 days a week. (More on that emotional breakdown later!)
As I watch her each day, my heart leaps with love, excitement,  and joy, and sinks with the thought of the inevitable passing of time. As we approach more and more milestones, I can't help but wonder how I am going to ever let her go not to just to daycare, but to school, to her first sleepover, on her first date, to college, down the aisle, I could go on and on. As I say my prayers today, I am praying to soak up every minute of joy with her, every seemingly small thing she accomplishes, her love, her tears, her smiles, her coos, her baths, her playtime, and everything in between.

Now if I am being realistic, there have been many things that I am glad to be done with, and some that I am looking forward to leaving behind. I don't really miss those sleepless nights, when Vivie's reflux kept her up every hour. Or swaddling, and reswaddling, and reswaddling when she would break free and cry. I am ready to not be a walking burp cloth covered in spitup. I am kind of ready for her to be able to sit up in a grocery cart. And maybe I could do without all these messy diapers! Even with all of that said, the joy she brings is unparalleled to anything I could have ever expected, and all those not so pleasant things are not even all that bad.

One minute she is holding her bottle on her own, and I know it is going to seem like a minute later she is driving off to college. I had no idea how significant all of these little things would be, and how bittersweet it would be to watch her grow, until the one big thing, my boundless love for her arrived on February 2nd 2011.

Vivie and The Fourth of July

What a difference a year makes. On this day last year, I experienced my first episode of true morning sickness while pregnant with Vivie! I remember lying on the bathroom floor with my head on the cool tile and Shane wanting to take a picture to show our unborn child one day. Looking back, I wish that I had let him so I could have documentation of the entire pregnancy experience! I was one of the lucky few that did not have too much nausea, but those mornings when I felt like I could not move because of nausea, exhaustion, and headaches were so worth it because it brought me sweet Vivie.
Fast forward one year, and wow have things changed! Last year I could not even think of eating anything except plain pasta, (if you are wondering, yes Olive Garden is open on the 4th of July and it is not crowded at all) and this year I was able to look forward to all of the yummy cookout food! Last year Shane and I did not see a single firework because I was confined to the couch all weekend. We decided to not to see any this year either, considering Vivie is not a fan of loud, sudden noises. They were beautiful on t.v. though!
My entire family gets together twice a year, with the exception of weddings and funerals, and one of those days is the 4th of July. I was so excited to see Vivie in her red, white, and blue dress and take her to see the family! Vivie had a good time at the cookout, and was so charming for all of her admirers, but it was a little hot for her once she started getting sleepy. I parked myself in front of a fan and she finally, after trying to fight it for a long time, fell asleep on my lap while Daddy enjoyed a snow cone!

After we left the cookout, we headed over to Shane's dad's house where Vivie got to have some more fun with all her cousins! She watched the girls swim and was very impressed by Selah swimming underwater! 

I think Vivie's first 4th of July was fun, but I am looking forward to when she will be able to experience all the yummy food and the fireworks! I am also looking forward to explaining to her why the holiday is so important, and what it truly means to live in the best country in the world. 

Reflecting back over the past year I am amazed at how time flies. It seems as though one minute you are on the bathroom floor as a result of morning sickness, and the next you are holding a precious little sleeping miracle in your lap.